Pfft. D<

Give me internets. D<

http://internetometer.com/give/3084

I still hate my manager...but she's started to actually treat my like a human being, and that actually makes me really happy. Like, it's made my job enjoyable again. She actually makes me feel like maybe I'm better at my job than I thought. I'm like her personal assistant. I keep things running well, and she asks me to help her when she needs it. She even tells me why I should do what I'm doing. I'm actually really excited about that.

Since that's happened, I've gone back to not hating my job. As much. Most days.

Some days it still really sucks.

The entire misses side of the registers no longer reads debit cards. It only takes credit. No one's seen fit to fix that. The first register on the misses side doesn't work right anymore. The register drawer doesn't open, so you can't give change. The register that they want us to work at is starting to slow down. The pin pad doesn't work at it at all anymore. It prints a signature slip for every transaction that's not cash or check. Which is very annoying.

I used to really enjoy working on the misses side of the registers...and it's still fun. Just more work. Who's surprised that that's where they've started throwing me?

They've also started scheduling me almost exclusively for mornings. Which I guess is okay...because I'd have to be up that early anyway, to pick Harold up from work...

I hate you. I hate you so much, that I can't believe you're not dead already. Why the hell can't I hate you to death? Why is that not possible. I wish you would die. I wish something would disembowel you, or that rabid animals would eat you alive. I wish you the most horrifying death possible.

I'm so fucking sick of you hovering just around the corner, waiting for me to fuck up so you can tell me about it 10-15 times within the next day or so. I'm so tired of how you feel the need to tell everyone just what the hell they're doing wrong. Like you're so fucking perfect yourself. Like you don't shit or something. I'm sick of receiving stupid-ass notes about things that happened several days in the past, and were no goddamned big deal. If you don't fucking catch it within a day, fucking let it go.

If you're going to tell me how to do something, have the decency to show me. Have the common courtesy to remember my damn name when you're asking me in that accusing tone of voice if I had anything to do with whatever the hell you found wrong this time. I don't know what the hell the last person at the register was doing, and why the hell should I? I'm responsible for me. It isn't my fault your dumbass can't take the time to do things that need to be done.

Quit being a bitch. Stop standing around waiting for people to fuck up. Try doing something that needs to be done, instead of acting as though every little tiny thing you do couldn't possibly be done by a damned trained monkey, and probably better at that! I could run the damn store better than you. You're doing a shitty job.

Yelling at people in front of the customers does not dictate good customer service. Neither does taking over my transaction and acting as though I'm some sort of dimwit that hasn't a clue what to do with herself.

Show some concern if I ask you for a bandaid. Don't look at me like I stabbed myself in the finger with your retarded ass security measures on purpose. You think I go around stabbing myself for attention? There are so many better ways to get it, ones that don't hurt so damned much. I had a bruise on my finger for a week, and thanks so damned much for bringing me that bandaid. You know. The one I asked for while trying not to bleed on the customer's clothes? You sure were a huge help there.

You ever stop to wonder why nothing's done the way you want it? I can tell you why. Because your way is fucking stupid and doesn't work. Also the way you ask just makes everything in my body scream to do the exact opposite. You know why I haven't quit and left your godforsaken register-trained apes to fend for themselves? Because then you'd have what you so obviously want. And I can't have you thinking you're any better than you are.

For the last time, I don't want to ride home with you. I'd rather get mugged or raped than listen to a minute more of your yammering on about shit that doesn't pertain to me. I don't want your 'charity', and I don't care that you think it's safer for me to ride with you. Why the hell do you think I carry an asp? For shits and giggles? I can take care of myself. I'm not five years old, I don't need you to clean up after me. Stop acting like you're doing me favors, because you're not. I'd be better off bleeding in the street than under your care.

You know what? I'm thrilled that you spent damn near an hour looking for me after work that one day. Fucking thrilled. I'm glad you wasted your gas and your time. I did that on purpose. I intentionally left before you. I snagged a ride with someone else, and didn't tell you. Because I want you to suffer.

That day that our store manager got on you about shit that needed to be done? I could not have been happier at how upset you were. I wish you would have quit. You're too god-damned old to be working there anyway. I'm shocked you're still alive. I'm sure it's just all the menace you have inside of you. You're too damned righteous to die, aren't you? The world would fall to shit without you here to tape it back together. Well you're wrong. And the world's a shithole anyway. What are you doing to fix it? Nothing, that's what.

You know why your husband died? Because you wouldn't let his mistakes go. You hounded him to death. You waited for him to fuck up so you could remind him of it every time he looked at you wrong. He died to get the hell away from you. I hope that made you happy, because he's probably happier wherever the hell he ended up.

I go home almost every day that I work with you seething mad. I'm mad for hours later. The way you treat your employees is shitty at best. I'm stunned you haven't been fired. The only reason you're still working there is because no one has the balls to step up to you and tell you what they think. You have everyone so damned scared of you that you get whatever the hell you want. You've made wonderful employees quit, I'm sure. I've never witnessed it, but I'd almost rather be dead than work with you.

No one will mourn you if you die. We will celebrate over your grave. I hope you burn.

What the hell. I mean really, what the hell? Was it 'make Kyla's day shitty' day today? Cause, it certainly felt like it.

I'm a pretty decent worker. Or at least, that's what I tell myself. I do what's asked of me, and then I push it a little further. If there aren't any customers nearby, and no one's wanted to buy anything for the past couple minutes, I go and I start straightening up the areas around my register. I size clothing, and I move things to where they should be. I put like clothes with like clothes. The way I'd like a store to be if I went shopping. I fold clothes, and put things on the shelves where they go. I even go around to each of the registers and straighten up the shelves of bags, so that nothing's laying on the floor, or is shoved in the very back of the bay. I do my part.

I always take all of my recovery items to the back of the store where they go. Hell, I even go so far as to take other people's back as well, if they're in my path to the back of the store. When I have to close the store, I go through and pre-count down my registers, check if things need change, and organize the media files before it needs to be done, so that when the doors close, everyone can leave the store when they're supposed to. Managers have commended me on this.

I'm nothing but nice to the customers, and I'm apparently always in a good mood at work, or at least quite happy-looking and sounding.

I do my best to sell the credit card we offer, and usually get at least one credit before I leave the store for the day.

I am all around, a damned decent cashier, and most places would be thrilled to have me work for them. I don't complain about my hours, and I'm always more than happy to come in if someone calls off. I'm available 24 hours a day, and I live a 15 minute walk from the store, so I'm there rain or shine. I've only ever called off once.

So the day before yesterday, when I went to clock out, I was in a hurry, and flustered. It'd been a busy day, and my replacement was a little late. I tried to round everything up so that I could take it back and clock out as quickly as possible, so as not to throw off the hours I was working (and so that we would come in alright on payroll). I usually clock out about 5-10 minutes after I'm scheduled to do so. I'd clock out on time, but no one else clocks in that 5 minutes early we're allowed, so we're always running a little late. I accidentally forgot my holds up at the register. I assumed it wouldn't be a big deal, since I always go out of my way to help everyone else out. Apparently I was very wrong. I forget to do something ONCE. Just once. And I get two notes about it. I could understand one. I even understood the first one being from the cashier who replaced me. But there was no call for my supervisor to write me a 'reminder' note about it. The cashier had already addressed the issue, and she wrote me the note 2 days later! As if I always leave my stuff laying around the registers! I know for a fact that other cashiers leave their recovery at the registers for days and days! I've had to take back things that were up at the register for over a week before! And I know that she doesn't write any of them notes. It's not like it would be hard to find out who was doing it, either.

But no. I'm the only one. I had everything rounded up, and it was in a centralized location. I had moved it a register back, so that I would have room to stand in the register bay, so when I grabbed everything else, my arms were already full, and I was flustered. I didn't even think to look back and see my holds.

It wouldn't have taken them long to put them where they went when they closed that night. Really, it wouldn't have been a big deal at all. And now suddenly I'm the person that's in the wrong, because I forgot to do something once. I'm being reprimanded for something that happens every goddamned day in that store.

Well. I do. Granted, they aren't fantastic, or even fascinating....but they're my kitties. And that's really all the reason I posted today. Cause I has pictures of mah babies.

There's Tess-Tess. She's a pretty kitty.


Pretty demonic.

Then there's Godric.


And more pictures here!

So, it's been several months to a year since I last even really looked at my livejournal account. I doubt anyone here really even remembers me, if I was ever even a part of their little communities. That doesn't really bother me.

Okay, maybe it bothers me a little. But only a little. It's not super important to me. You all are just internet people anyway. It's a different breed of people.

Anyway. The point is...I'm kinda sorta back. Back in the sense that I now log onto my computer more often than every few weeks. It's more like once a week, or more. I took a break, having moved in with my boyfriend across the country. But now that things have calmed down a bit, and I've settled into a routine, I decided I needed to come back. Not for the internet people. Gosh no.

I've come back because this is the perfect place to call home. I don't have to talk to anyone I don't want to, and I can say whatever I want. I can use this to keep everyone across the country from me up to date on my life. Or as up to date as I care to keep them/they care to keep. It's a two-way street. Just as I have to put forth the effort to type all this out, they have to put forth the effort to read it.

So, what's new with me, that I bother to post, you ask? Surprisingly little, and yet, amazingly much. I still sit on my ass and do a whole lot of nothing, but it's in an apartment across the country in Ohio. An apartment that my flimsy little cashier's job at Kohl's helps to pay rent on. That's right, I have a job. A job that I walk to, because I have yet to bother with learning to drive. Not that I don't need to now more than ever...

Harold works down the street at Wal-Mart. He constantly comes home angry or sad. He hates every second of his job, and I'm so pathetic I can't do a thing to help him. I'm too chickenshit to learn to drive, even though there are all sorts of people who would teach me if I asked. He tries so hard to get me involved in his writing, but I'm so uncreative, I can't bring myself to help him. I don't know what it is he wants from me, but he won't stop trying. He's always sick. I don't think he's been well a day since I got here, and he won't do a thing to help himself. He doesn't take time off. Days that he has off, he spends cleaning the house, because my lazy ass doesn't take care of it when I get home from work.

Speaking of work, it's tiring. I only work part time, but I can't imagine working full time. I don't know how I would ever get anything done. Not that I get a whole lot done as it is, but I'm sure I'd get less done that way. Perhaps it would be worth it, though, since we'd have about twice as much money from me, which translates to enough money to sit easy on bills, rather than worry about them and all the little surprise charges that pop up.

We spend so much money on whatever the hell we feel like spending it on that we rarely have the appropriate money for groceries on hand. We somehow always manage to pay our bills, though God only knows how. When we finish spending money on bills, we buy minimal groceries. We've actually had to break into our ramen noodle stockpile lately. I often forget that I like to eat meat, so it's always a surprise when we can afford to buy something that has real meat in it, and not stuff like pepperoni or re-hydrated beef chunks.

I can't really complain about that though. I'm still alive, and when we buy food, it's always tasty. Of course, it's always centered around what he likes to eat and drink. I can't even be upset about that, since he earns the majority of the money. He earns it, and then spends both of our paychecks. There are all sorts of practical things I'd like to spend it on, but it's always overrode by him. He sees something he wants/"needs", and I can't help but let him get it, because he works so hard, and is always so upset when he gets home. It only placates him for a little while, and then he's right back to where he was before, unfortunately. Maybe one day I'll be able to make him happy, rather than just momentarily giddy over something I let him get.

I have a cat. Well, two cats, actually. We bought one of them as a kitten. Her name is Tesla. She's an adoreable thing, even if she is a terror. She's an American Shorthair (I think), and a calico. Absolutely gorgeous. And spoiled rotten. She gets pretty much whatever she wants. Even if it's not right away, she knows that she owns us. Then there's Godric. Harold picked him up from the cardboard dumpster at his work, and he's been with us ever since. He's a mellow cat, and he's finally started to gain himself some weight back, which I'm happy about. He's even started playing every now and again. He's a little skittish, but he's the friendliest thing you've ever met.

We bought the new NDSi when it came out last week, and Harold does love it, so I can't be upset at the purchase.

I realized that I had the last Twilight audiobook for several months just a few days ago, so I'm happily listening to it. I don't really know what I'm going to listen to once I finish it off, but I guess we'll see from there. I forgot what an ordeal reading a story is for me. I get stressed out over it, and nothing sits right until I finish it and finally know what happens to everyone.

I think I've become obsessed with giving out answers on Yahoo!Answers... It's an odd hobby, considering I really know very little. However, it is entertaining to see the kind of stupid stuff people ask.

I'm sure I've got more to say, but right now I'm becoming distracted. I had to be at work at 6:45 this morning, and I only just got off an hour ago. Plus the house smells like Godric-crap. Which is one of the furthest things from pleasant that there is.

I'll post an entry again when the fancy strikes me. Yanno, update everyone on my miserable existance. Not that anyone cares, but it's nice that it's there.

But I figured I'd let everyone know that I'm working on a fanmix for the episodes 'House's Head' and 'Wilson's Heart'...as well as a bit afterwards. I'm compelled...it needs expressing...

So um...yeah.

Now that I'm done telling everyone...I'll just um...go curl up in this corner...and hope no one's expecting miracles? xD

More House, please?

The finale was so heartbreaking. I cried...even though I knew what would happen, I cried anyway. What else could have happened, after all?

Now I just need to know what happens next. What happens with them? Where do we go from here?

Oh, I'm so torn apart right now. I need happy time now. ;3;

I have a whole week to wait to see what happens on House... ;3;

I'm gonna be edgy all week waiting....

Not to mention that I tuned in just in time to see Booth get shot by the crazy stalker chick on Bones. D:<

So I have to wait and see how that turns out too.

I hate tuning in just at the last moment at the episode before the season finale. Then again, the season finale always leaves off in a bitch place too.

I've barely seen any of this season's House episodes, but it's been enough that I'm all freaking out about how long I have to wait. ;3;

I really, really, really think Amber dies. Which makes me both happy and sad at the same time.

Also? I started suspecting it was Amber towards the middle. I was all: WTF? Where are Amber in this episode? D:<

Aaaanyway.

That was my bitch/rant for today.

I'm still pissed about it, though.

It is a random day, just like every other day. However, today I felt a need to post in my LJ. So. Here I am. Posting. Liek whoa, yeah?

I can't remember when the last time I posted was, but I'm pretty sure it was forever ago. So. Um. What's new with me? A bunch, and yet, nothing.

I have 30 some odd days left until graduation. It's approaching scarily fast. I have a lot of schoolwork still clamoring to be caught up on. As well as my Senior Project. Which...is a beast. I don't want to do it, but it has to be done by Monday. T_T

Plus, once I graduate...I'll have to be an adult. ;3; I'm a bit intimidated by that.

However, since I'm moving to Ohio...I rather think that I'll just have to get over it. Harold says that I'll be fine. I believe him. But it's still scary.

Strange. Usually I have a whole bunch to talk about. But lately I haven't felt a desire to talk about anything. Online or otherwise. O-o;

I guess this entry will just have to stay short. I'm sure no one will complain.

I stole this from shizuka_blooms, because it looked fun. xD

Follow these easy steps!
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result as a comment in this post. Also, pass it along in your own journal because it's more amusing that way.

It's been a long time since I've been this bored. I mean...usually I've got the internet for entertainment purposes...but...there's just nothing out there that sparks my interest.

I don't want to watch anime, because I don't want to read subtitles. I don't want to play FFXII, because the judge is being a bitch and not letting me beat him. So I have to run around and level up. Plus the story is kinda...blah. I mean, yeah, I'm still just getting started, so I have hopes that it's gonna get better...but it's definitely not the best I've played so far.

I'm kinda leaning towards just mixing a bunch of cds today. Just for fun. But...I mean...I'll run out of blank cds if I do that. T_T

None of the music rotation journals have rotated today....well, none that I haven't already visited...and it's still at that time of month where none of the other rotation sites on the web are up.

I kinda feel bad...Harold's sounding down...and I'm sure it's my fault...but I had so much social time this weekend, I was just...drained. I slept so much yesterday...and actually, Sunday too. So it wasn't like I didn't want to talk to him...

I need something to do~

I can't even go outside, it's too effing cold for that. And doing the dishes...well...a) won't last me long, and b) is boring too. I'll do them eventually, of course.

I was thinking a long bath, read in the tub...but it's cold outside of the tub. It'd defeat the purpose.

Oh well.

Just so long as I got this off my chest, I guess. I'll post about something more interesting later, I guess.

On a side note...I uploaded songs for the first time ever. =D I'm proud of mehself. =D

Hey, surprise!

Nearly a year after that last entry there, I've returned to haunt livejournal again. A lot has changed, and by a lot...I mean a lot. All sorts of it is stuff I never would have thought would happen...life's so radically different.

Not all in a good way, but not in a terrible way either.

Let's see. It's January of '08 now...This is what should be my last Senior year of high school. If all goes well, I'll graduate, and we'll all have a happy celebratory time. School's all online this year...I'm wishy-washy on whether or not I'm happy with it. The course material is interactive, that much I do like...but I still have to read a great deal of boring stuff. I don't have to deal with all the drama of face-to-face high school, which is a huge plus.

I'm not living with my parents anymore...I moved in with my best friend and her mom. That by itself was...an ordeal. But not long after I moved in with her, we moved out of the apartment and into a duplex by one of the schools up here. It's a nice enough place. Quiet neighborhood...close to a few grocery stores, and there's a pretty good teriyaki place just down the street. That I'm happy about.

Now I need to learn how to drive. It really is rather important...along with getting a job, and my identification. It wouldn't be good to be asked to show ID and not have any. -___-;

I mean really. How can one get carded if there's no ID to show them? That completely defeats the purpose, don't you think?

I've moved more this year than I really ever want to move again. I mean, all in one swift period. I don't mind the idea of moving again, but I don't want to throw things in boxes, get semi-unpacked, and then pack everything up again to move into a new place. I still haven't finished unpacking, and it's been months. The room's so full of clutter, I have no idea where to begin.

It's feeling a lot more like home now, which is good. I didn't really feel any of the home sickness I thought I would when I moved out. The first night...I cried. I really, really cried. But that was before I'd even started moving my stuff out. And that was the reason I did move out. Things are better between my family and I now, and I'm getting closer to having everything moved out of my old room. Pretty soon K will have the garage all to herself, for which I'm glad. It's a nice room, but I don't begrudge her having to deal with my parents.

My sister got a cat...she named it Cid Viscious...I don't know why she insists on spelling it like a retard, but it's her choice, I guess. She's pretty upset with how mom and dad are cracking down on her now that I've left, but it was really to be expected. That's how they were to me when I was there, and although I feel bad for leaving her to deal with them, I couldn't take it any more. On a plus side, she's moved into a bigger room...

It really seems like ever since I moved out, they've taken the time to make the house look nice again. They've refloored the entire house, repainted, and been attempting to keep up on the yard. They bought a carport and a shed...as well as two motorcycles. It's like...not having to provide for me has really made their lives easier.

Which is depressing to consider, but I'm glad that things are looking up for them.

I've got a boyfriend now...he's a sweet guy. An egotistical jerk at times, yes...but that's really part of his charm. He's smart, funny, and kind, though he does take things to heart that aren't meant that way. He lives over in Ohio, which is a ways away, I'll grant you that. But things are working out just fine for us so far, and we've made plans already, so there's nothing to worry about.

He's talking about coming out here this spring, which would make me so happy. I could introduce him to the familly...let him get to know everyone...

I'm on anti-depressants...they're...kinda helping? They gave me the wrong dosage this last time...bastards. My head's been swimmy for a good week and a half...but I can't take any more than one a day, or I won't have enough to last me...it really sucks.

Now that the first semester of school's winding down, and things are getting to a normal pace, I can put together a resume and start looking for a steady source of income. Once the room's cleaned up, I can get to my nicer clothing, and find the shoes I want. I really do like this place...

Aaaand...I'm considering running a music rotation. This isn't for sure, I'm just toying with the idea...and even if I did run a rotation, I doubt it would be more than 3 songs a week...and I probably wouldn't update often...but it could be enjoyable. Hehe.

Anyway. Now that I've pretty much covered the major points in my life of change, I think I'mma go finish watching Disgaea and go to sleep. I'm making it a goal to post in this more often now that I'm no longer on Gaia...I need somewhere to let my mind out to wander. xD

Yeah, it's been forever since I posted, hasn't it? I wasn't real motivated to do it before now, but I am! n_n

This year's been better than last so far. I've got my medication, and I'm going to counseling...and I'm feeling a lot better...I still have my episodes, sometimes I don't feel like getting out of bed...but I'm doing a lot better. I find it hard to believe that some day I might not ever feel that way.

I'm going to be at school one more year. It kind of makes me sad, especially knowing that everyone I know is moving on, graduating...I'll probably never see them again after this.

But I think I'll be alright. I think I can handle it.

I'm in Sno-Isle now. I'm learning JavaScript. Well, I'm kind of learning JavaScript. xD

I've been looking for a job, because it's about time I moved out. It'll make things easier for my parents, not having to provide for me.

Funny, eh? The weather's actually been really nice lately. And yes. I am complaining.

I'm sick of it. Good thing it's thinking about raining today. Because I die when it's as warm as it has been lately.

I'm bored out of my mind, and there's really nothing to do around here. Sucks living in such a hick town and not being able to drive. Now, yeah, I could learn...but I'm scared to.

Counseling. Argh. It's going well, I suppose. Could be worse...I'm already sick of it, though. Maybe if my mom didn't insist on going with me, it wouldn't be so bad. But as it is, it's a little awkward...>.>

Um...

Have you guys seen the advertisement (trailer) for 'Pulse'? It looks...~*shivers*~ Ooooh, I can hardly wait until it comes out. It looks that good. <3

I mean, you know it's good when it gives me the shivers just watching the trailer. I can hardly wait! Now I just need my sister to pay me back so that I can take meh gf to see it with me. Yeah...I'm a wimp. Can't go see scary movies on my own. That and it's an excuse to go somewhere with her. <333

So, I'm finally back from vacation. I spent a week moving down the Oregon coastline, went down and saw the Redwood forest in California...

I have to say, it was pretty fun, actually. One could get used to the vacation thing. No stress, no modern world...it's pretty awesome. So is the camping, so long as there's no wind. Because our tent? It sucked major ass... xP

The weather was absolutely beautiful. It didn't rain once (though I must admit, I was hoping to see some rain once I made it home...). We spent a lot of time at the beach, and although the wind never quit, it sure was nice. Except for the one time I actually went swimming. I got so cold, and then when I got out to dry off, my parents weren't there to give me a towel. So I sat there in the wind, outside the locked car...it sucked. I was so cold.

Anyway. I'm tired of talking about my vacation. Maybe I'll get back to it later.

So, it's about the summer. Weather still sucks, but that's not strange, all things considered. Up here in Washington, we don't get good weather. xP

So, today, a certain person, whom I will refer to as 'K', decided that we were no longer friends. I find this funny, because it means she thought we were friends in the first place. Sure, we were for a while, I even dated her...wow, was the ever a mistake. She's just a bit psycho. I really can't deal with that.

She read a few things that I said online about her, and really, everyone already knew what I thought of her, I've just never said it to her face. She got pissed off. Which is good, actually. I hope she cried. Which might sound malicious, but she has a lot of growing up and maturing to do. One can hope this will spur her on the way.

But yeah. I've been thinking, and really it's a little depressing, about my future. Which yes, does involve the summer. I've got so far to go, and I've already fucked it up. I can't say I'm surprised, because that would be a lie. If only I had the dedication to do what's required of me, I would be well on my way. But no, I get bored and quit working. And so everyone assumes that I just don't want to do the work and pass. Which isn't strictly true. I mean, yeah, I don't want to do the work, but that doesn't mean I won't start doing it...

This summer is going to suck. Especially if the weather continues in this pattern. I want a sweater...but I already put them all away.

I need to find a job, there are any number of things I'm needing money for, and I know my parents won't lend me that much...being seventeen means I can find my own cash inflow, and my own rides places...

I wish I weren't growing up.

It sucks.